Surrogate Motherhood: Should A Surrogate Be Able To Get To Know The Child After Birth?

This is a very sensitive question for both the surrogate mother and the intended parents. After all the surrogate mother has been carrying the child or children if it is a multiple birth, which it very often is after the fertility treatment, for 9 months. There will not be many surrogate mothers who will do this just for the money. Very often it will be because they either love to be pregnant but do not want any more children of their own, or it will be because they want to give something to childless couples.

So this very big question will need to be examined and beforehand is obviously better than later when some very strong emotions will be involved. There are so many different questions involved in the Surrogate Motherhood procedure that getting a good counseling on board would seem to be the best idea. A good counselor will be able to help the intended parents find out what their feelings are, in which type of surrogacy to go for, who the surrogate mother should be and so on. Also, a counselor will be needed for the surrogate mother, to deal with all of her different feelings, before, during and especially after the birth.

There will be many people with very different, very strong feelings towards this question but what needs to be remembered is that it is the decision of the intended parents and the surrogate mother only. Some intended parents, especially with gestational surrogacy where the intended mothers egg has been fertilized with the intended fathers sperm, will feel that maybe as the child is theirs genetically they do not need to have any contact with the surrogate mother after the birth. With traditional surrogacy, this can be more of a difficult question. This is why it is always best to have legal contracts with everything written in black and white beforehand. Even so, it may all be written down and agreed beforehand but feelings and very strong feelings at that, will still be felt by all parties.

It may be best, once the intended parents have made the decision, for the intended parents to find a like minded surrogate. This will save an awful lot of heartache afterward. Very often questions like this are best investigated by the agency you have gone through or an attorney. Misunderstandings can very quickly to turn to offense which is the last thing wanted by everyone so being able to put questions like this through a third party is easier for everyone.

What will need to be done therefore is for the intended parents to sit down and examine their feelings on all of the issues raised. Once they have been able to decide on this particular question they should then set out and look for either an agency or attorney to help them find their own specifically perfect surrogate mother. Then they will be able to start their journey towards parenthood happily and without worries.